Gas Station Glory: The Power of Repetition, Patience & Pump 3

(Taking a moment to pause, breathe, smile, and sip on my delicious Peppermint Tea.) WOOOSAH

Today, I watched my 22-year-old son Micaiah pump gas, a seemingly mundane task that held deep significance for me. This moment took me back to when I first taught him to pump gas at 12 years old. Teaching a neurodivergent child this skill wasn't a simple task; it required patience and a tailored approach, which is kind of how I do everything when it comes to him. Each visit to the gas station was an adventure, navigating sensory overload and breaking down steps into manageable parts.I often whipped out visual aids and checklists to help him learn, like a magician with a never-ending hat of tricks. Watching him confidently wrangle the gas pump today made my heart swell with pride and gratitude, his growth and independence were on full display! This simple act was like a highlight reel of our shared journey and his resilience. And yes, I might have shed a tear, but I made sure he didn't catch me in the act!

Step 1: Let’s go inside.

I told him, “Go in and say, ‘$30 on pump 3.’ That’s it.”

He paused. Then hit me with rapid-fire questions:

• “Should I say ‘thirty dollars’ or just ‘thirty’?”

• “Do I say ‘please’ or is that weird?”

• “What if I forget the pump number?”

• “What if they look at me funny?”

• “What if I sound robotic?”

• “Do I HAVE to make eye contact?”

  
  

And I said, “Okay, big guy, (one of his nicknames) Let’s go back to square one.” Because here’s what I’ve learned parenting a child on the Autism Spectrum: Nothing is assumed. Everything is intentional. We rehearsed. Three times. Out loud. In the car. With hand gestures. And facial expressions. Like it was Opening Night at the Spectrum Theater. And then I did what I always do, I asked him: “Okay, now tell me what you’re about to do.” Because in my house, I don’t just tell him what to do, I program with purpose. And some days my mouth is tired from all the teaching and talking although it has changed as he's grown, but it is a part of the process and journey.

I repeat. I explain. I check for understanding. And I do it again if needed. Not because he’s incapable, but because repetition is the runway to confidence. He finally walked in. I watched from the car like I was running a top-secret mission with a headset. He waited in line, said what he needed to say, and they nodded. He walked out with his shoulders back like he’d just convinced a cat to take a bath. LOL

“Did you see me, mom? I did it.” “Yes big fuy, you did that.” But we weren’t done. Because now… it was pump time.

Step 2: Grab the nozzle.

Now, THIS part? Takes choreography.

• Remove the nozzle.

• Choose your gas grade.

• Hold the handle.

• Wait for the click.

That first click? Startled him. He flinched like the pump had yelled, “SURPRISE!” But he didn’t drop it. He didn’t panic. He held steady.

And when it was done? He lifted his hands in the air like he had just completed a triathlon. In our world, he had. That was the gas station Olympics, and son took home the gold.

Fast forward to now.

At 22, he does it on his own. With confidence. With rhythm. With his own unique flair. And I sat there in that car, heart swelling, eyes watering, remembering the beginning. Twelve years old. So many questions. So much love. So much explaining and checking and repeating.

And now? He’s grown. He’s equipped. He’s free. That’s the power of intentional parenting on the Spectrum.

To every parent, caregiver, and heart-holder out there:

Let this be your reminder: that teaching takes time, and it is a journey filled with patience and perseverance. That repeating yourself is holy. Each repetition is not merely a reiteration of facts or concepts; it is an affirmation of your commitment to ensuring understanding. It is a sacred act that acknowledges the complexity of learning and the diverse ways in which individuals process information.

That explaining something in 12 different ways isn’t spoiling, it’s just providing support. Each explanation is an opportunity to connect, to offer clarity, and to bridge the gaps in understanding. Different perspectives can illuminate a concept that may seem difficult to capture or understand at first. It is through these diverse approaches that you're able to encourage an environment where questions are welcomed, and curiosity is nurtured.

The truth is, you are not behind. You are building. Building knowledge, building confidence, and building a foundation for future learning. One gentle step at a time, you are crafting a path that others can follow. One “let’s try again” at a time, you are instilling resilience and the understanding that mistakes are a part of the learning process. One “did you understand me?” at a time, you are encouraging reflection and dialogue, allowing for the exploration of thoughts and feelings. And one day, you’ll look up and see the person you poured into, pumping their own gas, handling life, and walking tall in their own beautiful way, equipped with the skills and confidence you have helped them develop.

And you’ll realize that every moment spent in teaching, every ounce of energy invested in nurturing growth, has led to this remarkable transformation. You will see the fruits of your labor manifest in their independence and self-assuredness. You will understand that the journey of teaching is not just about imparting knowledge; it is about shaping lives, fostering potential, and witnessing the blossoming of individuals into their fullest selves. This realization will fill you with joy as you reflect on the impact you have made, knowing that your dedication has contributed to their success and happiness.

In this beautiful cycle of teaching and learning, remember that your efforts are invaluable and that the time you invest now will yield rewards beyond measure in the lives of those you teach.

As you continue on your journey filled with trial and error, joys, and challenges, be encouraged in knowing that you're not just raising a child or assisting a young adult on The Spectrum in navigating life. You are creating a library of life skills with love, grace, and purpose.

Because when it comes to parenting on the Spectrum, it’s not about rushing the lesson, it’s about building great life skills they can use.

One repeat, one explanation, one breakthrough at a time.

– Yahminah McIntosh

Conscious Mama. Intentional Programmer. Gas Station Victory Coach.